Sudden death… when someone dies unexpectedly. A sudden death seems to add a different dimension of responses to grief. For some, a numbing shock and silence set in. For others, they continue on, even arranging the practicalities of a funeral as if it was a regular daily task. And again, others might find themselves asking, “Why them? Why me?”
Allowing the time and space for shock to dissipate is important before arranging a funeral. When shock is the predominant emotional state people are in a space where creating a fitting farewell is difficult at best. Important information is overlooked when creating a picture of a loved one’s life. Or the range of rituals to support the grieving process can be skipped over.
There can often be a preference to rush through the funeral arrangements in an attempt to get the pain out of the way as quickly as possible. But the pain of grief will not go away simply because a funeral was held very quickly. An unfortunate outcome can be that regret and guilt arrive shortly after the service is over. People wishing they had’ve waited… planned better… allowed time for others to arrive… chosen different music.
So my invitation to you, your family and your friends, should you or they ever find yourself or themselves in the tragic circumstances of sudden death is to stop. Wait. Breathe. Think about options. Don’t be rushed. Find some solid independent advice. Allow others to offer their support. Give yourselves the time and space to create a farewell that leaves no room for regret or guilt. Dealing with the grief alone is hard enough!
We have just one life…
Independent Funeral Information | Life Story Collector & Writer | End of Life Tributes | Easier End of Life Experiences | Funeral Planning and Celebrancy
Just One Life… doing and designing dying and death differently and with dignity and distinction.
For more information on doing dying and death differently or to start thinking about how to handle a death of a loved one before you are overtaken by grief, organise a conversation with Jacqui today.
Call +61 (0)412 741 531 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Jacqui Chaplin is a Lifetime & End-of-Life Commemoration Specialist (a funeral celebrant among other things) based in Melbourne, Australia. She loves capturing stories about the nature of life and being human, as well as, celebrating and commemorating well lived lives and lives that have ended. Jacqui has a passion for bringing the conversations that many of us find difficult to think about, let alone speak about, out in the open so we can see how our stories, values and beliefs influence our attitudes.
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