Introducing “My Grief Register”

In less than 500 words find out how “My Grief Register” can help those in grief as well as those supporting someone in grief.

About “My Grief Register”

This week a young woman is saying goodbye to her Mum. She reflected on how many people wanted to talk about how her Mum died. She did not want to be talking about that. It was not helpful for her. She’d lived it every day for the last three months. She wanted things to be different. She wanted some one to offer practical support… to cook her a meal or tidy her room. Simple things. Things that just feel to hard to do when she had to say goodbye to the woman who was her mother and so much more!

For another woman I saw her frustration steadily rising as everyone asked the standard question we ask at her husband’s funeral… “How are you?” For so many of us it is a question we automatically ask. When someone is immersed in grief this seemingly throw away question can have unexpected responses… Questions such as “What can I do for you?” or “How are you travelling today?” are sometimes considered more thoughtful or appropriate questions. And yet, sometimes a silent hug can go a long way to helping ease someone’s hurt.

It can be so hard to know what to do for someone in grief. If you haven’t recently experienced grief it can be even harder to know what might be helpful or not. And even if you are unfortunate enough to have a recent experience of grief… what works for one person does not work for everyone.

Using “My Grief Register”

Some I spend a bit of time with reflected that if it’s OK to have a Bridal Register it ought to be equally acceptably and certainly way more helpful if someone could create their personal grief register. And so My Grief Register was born.

It is designed to either:  start a conversation about what’s helpful and what’s not for those experience grief after the death of a loved one or to allow a grieving person to check of the things on the list they would like others to do for them or not. As circumstances change or people feel differently the register can be changed and adapted.

Get Started

So there is an image below that you can print out for yourself or for someone you’d like to be able to better support in their time of grief. As I have written about before there is no one right way to grieve. Taking some time to explore what’s helpful for people at different times can make conversations easier and identify some practical ways to seek and offer support.

Grief Support Resources

For those who are looking to find support either in grief or in a caring role for someone who is grieving these resources might be helpful.

We have just one life…

Jacqui Chaplin

Independent Funeral Information | Life Story Collector & Writer | End of Life Tributes | Easier End of Life Experiences | Funeral Planning and Celebrancy

Just One Life… doing and designing dying and death differently and with dignity and distinction.

For more information on doing dying and death differently or to start thinking about how to handle a death of a loved one before you are overtaken by grief, organise a conversation with Jacqui today.

Call +61 (0)412 741 531 or email

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Jacqui Chaplin is a Lifetime & End-of-Life Commemoration Specialist (a funeral celebrant among other things) based in Melbourne, Australia. She loves capturing stories about the nature of life and being human, as well as, celebrating and commemorating well lived lives and lives that have ended. Jacqui has a passion for bringing the conversations that many of us find difficult to think about, let alone speak about, out in the open so we can see how our stories, values and beliefs influence our attitudes.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

Ways of getting and giving support in grief